{"id":733,"date":"2018-12-10T16:02:35","date_gmt":"2018-12-10T13:02:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wordpress-1316973-5388710.cloudwaysapps.com\/?p=733"},"modified":"2022-04-04T02:57:57","modified_gmt":"2022-04-03T23:57:57","slug":"kabul-edilebilir-yalan-var-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/kabul-edilebilir-yalan-var-mi\/","title":{"rendered":"Kabul Edilebilir Yalan Var m\u0131?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\u00c7ocukluk \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131m\u0131zdan itibaren bir \u00e7o\u011fumuz yalan s\u00f6ylemenin k\u00f6t\u00fc bir davran\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendik. B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, \u201cbeyaz\u201d yalanlara maruz kald\u0131k ya da kendimiz s\u00f6yledik. \u00dcz\u00fclmemekten veya \u00fczmekten sak\u0131nmak i\u00e7in yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek davran\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131za ikna olduk. Yeti\u015fkinli\u011fe ge\u00e7ti\u011fimizde bile, iyi niyetli yalanlar\u0131, ki\u015fiyi ele\u015ftiriden korudu\u011fu veya sorunlar\u0131 azaltt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek me\u015fru kabul ettik. T\u00fcm bu s\u00fcre\u00e7lere ra\u011fmen yalan s\u00f6ylemenin (k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya da b\u00fcy\u00fck) do\u011fru kabul edilece\u011finden emin olabilir miyiz?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_80 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title ez-toc-toggle\" style=\"cursor:pointer\">\u0130\u00e7indekiler<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/kabul-edilebilir-yalan-var-mi\/#Neden_%E2%80%9CBeyaz_Yalan%E2%80%9Dlar_Soyluyoruz\" >Neden \u201cBeyaz Yalan\u201dlar S\u00f6yl\u00fcyoruz?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/kabul-edilebilir-yalan-var-mi\/#Yalana_Basvururken_Dusun_Gelecegi_Ne_Kadar_Ongorebilirsin\" >Yalana Ba\u015fvururken D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn: Gelece\u011fi Ne Kadar \u00d6ng\u00f6rebilirsin?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/kabul-edilebilir-yalan-var-mi\/#Beyaz_Yalanlari_Birakamayanlar\" >Beyaz Yalanlar\u0131 B\u0131rakamayanlar!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Neden_%E2%80%9CBeyaz_Yalan%E2%80%9Dlar_Soyluyoruz\"><\/span><strong>Neden \u201cBeyaz Yalan\u201dlar S\u00f6yl\u00fcyoruz?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Ebeveynler taraf\u0131ndan, \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00fczg\u00fcn hissetmesini engellemek i\u00e7in beyaz yalanlar kullanmak yayg\u0131n bir uygulamad\u0131r ve ara\u015ft\u0131rmalara g\u00f6re bir\u00e7ok k\u00fclt\u00fcrde normal kabul edilir. \u00d6rne\u011fin, bir ebeveyn, \u00e7ocu\u011fun zarar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f bir hayvan hakk\u0131nda endi\u015felenmesini \u00f6nlemek i\u00e7in k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck yalanlar s\u00f6yleyebilir ya da doktorun ofisinde vurulma korkusunu dindirebilir. \u00c7o\u011funlukla, bu eylem \u015fefkatli olarak alg\u0131lan\u0131r ve ba\u015fka bir ki\u015fiye zarar vermemek i\u00e7in s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f \u201csosyal bir yalan\u201d olarak kabul edilir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeti\u015fkinli\u011fe girildi\u011finde dahi, bu \u201ck\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck\u201d yalanlar genellikle devam eder. Pek \u00e7ok yeti\u015fkin, yalan\u0131n tek etik se\u00e7enek oldu\u011fu durumlara sokuldu\u011funu hissedebilir. Bu hislere g\u00f6re; e\u011fer bir ki\u015fi size d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcnde nas\u0131l g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc sorarsa, d\u00fcr\u00fcst d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncenize ra\u011fmen, sadece tek bir kabul edilebilir cevap vard\u0131r. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fma ortam\u0131nda, patronunuzla etkile\u015fimler s\u00f6z konusu oldu\u011funda durum ayn\u0131d\u0131r. Yap\u0131lan bir ele\u015ftiriden birilerinin utanmas\u0131n\u0131 veya rahats\u0131z edilmesini \u00f6nleme gereksinimi duydu\u011funuz durumlarda da ayn\u0131s\u0131 ge\u00e7erlidir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bu tip durumlarda insanlar kendilerine genelde \u015fu soruyu soruyor; O an yalan s\u00f6ylemek, d\u00fcr\u00fcst olmaktan daha az zararl\u0131 m\u0131 de\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Yalana_Basvururken_Dusun_Gelecegi_Ne_Kadar_Ongorebilirsin\"><\/span><strong>Yalana Ba\u015fvururken D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn: Gelece\u011fi Ne Kadar \u00d6ng\u00f6rebilirsin?<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>E\u011fer anlat\u0131lan her yalan bir ba\u015fka ki\u015fiye zarar vermeyi engelleyebilirse-herhangi bir yan etki olmadan- bu sorunun cevab\u0131n\u0131 daha a\u00e7\u0131k hale getirecektir. Fakat ger\u00e7ek \u00e7o\u011fu zaman b\u00f6yle de\u011fildir. Birisi yanl\u0131\u015f bir i\u015f yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, bu durumu ona s\u00f6ylememek ya da yeterli olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve alamayaca\u011f\u0131 bir terfi i\u00e7in \u00fcz\u00fclmesin diye yalan s\u00f6ylemek daha yararl\u0131 bir hareket midir?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bu t\u00fcr paternalistik bir yalan, yalan s\u00f6yleyen ki\u015finin di\u011feri \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131na her daim do\u011fru kararlar verebilece\u011fi varsay\u0131m\u0131na dayan\u0131r. Peki bu ne kadar m\u00fcmk\u00fcn? Yan\u0131lma pay\u0131m\u0131z yok mu? Bir ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n yarar\u0131na d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz durumlar ve s\u00f6yledi\u011fimiz yalanlar, o ki\u015finin duygu durumu ve gelece\u011fi hakk\u0131nda ne kadar emin olabilir? Bu durum geri tepmelere yol a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, yalana maruz kalan taraf\u0131ndan g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir \u00f6fkeyle kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mesleki ve ki\u015fisel ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131zda daha fazla d\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc te\u015fvik etmek ve yalan s\u00f6yleme ihtiyac\u0131ndan ka\u00e7\u0131nmak i\u00e7in \u00e7abalay\u0131n. Do\u011fruyu s\u00f6ylerken kendinizi rahat hissetti\u011finiz ortamlar olu\u015fturdu\u011funuzdan emin olun ve ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n da bu \u015fekilde yapabilece\u011fini hissetmelerine yard\u0131mc\u0131 olun. M\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funca d\u00fcr\u00fcst olursan\u0131z, etraf\u0131n\u0131zdakilerin size inand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetti\u011finiz ko\u015fullar\u0131 yaratabilirsiniz. Bir di\u011fer konu ise ger\u00e7e\u011fi g\u00fczel bir dil ve \u00fcslupla s\u00f6ylemek. Bu durum, yalan s\u00f6yleme ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131, pozitif niyetle durdurmaya yard\u0131mc\u0131 olacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Beyaz_Yalanlari_Birakamayanlar\"><\/span><strong>Beyaz Yalanlar\u0131 B\u0131rakamayanlar!<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>En iyi ve tek ileti\u015fimin d\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fck oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnenlerin yan\u0131 s\u0131ra, beyaz yalan\u0131 veya bir \u015fekilde ger\u00e7e\u011fi \u00e7arp\u0131tmay\u0131 b\u0131rakmak istemeyenler de vard\u0131r. Bu tip davran\u0131\u015flarda a\u015fa\u011f\u0131daki iki fakt\u00f6r\u00fc g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcnde bulundurun: Ger\u00e7e\u011fin ne kadar \u00e7arp\u0131t\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve yalan ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda yank\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l olaca\u011f\u0131. K\u0131sa bir an i\u00e7in (bir \u00f6l\u00fcm ya da hastal\u0131k vakas\u0131 gibi) s\u00f6ylenen yalanlar ve akabinde ger\u00e7e\u011fin ki\u015fiye bildirilmesi akla yatk\u0131n bir durum olabilir. Yine de bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck beyaz yalanlar\u0131n\u0131z bile al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir, ad\u0131m ad\u0131m onlardan uzakla\u015fman\u0131z gerekir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yalan, y\u00fczeyde zarars\u0131z g\u00f6r\u00fcnse bile, daha iyi s\u00f6ylenmemi\u015f olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na karar vermeden \u00f6nce bu hususlar\u0131 tartmak \u00f6nemlidir. Neticede saklanan her ger\u00e7e\u011fin, \u00f6ncelikle s\u00f6ylenen ki\u015fiye zarar\u0131 vard\u0131r. Unutmay\u0131n, d\u00fcr\u00fcst olursan\u0131z, insanlarla ger\u00e7ek bir ileti\u015fim kurars\u0131n\u0131z ve yalan\u0131n ruh sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z \u00fczerinde herhangi bir olumsuz etkiye sahip olmas\u0131 imkans\u0131zla\u015f\u0131r.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u00c7ocukluk \u00e7a\u011flar\u0131m\u0131zdan itibaren bir \u00e7o\u011fumuz yalan s\u00f6ylemenin k\u00f6t\u00fc bir davran\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frendik. B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck, \u201cbeyaz\u201d yalanlara maruz kald\u0131k&hellip;","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":734,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"csco_display_header_overlay":false,"csco_singular_sidebar":"","csco_page_header_type":"","csco_page_load_nextpost":"","csco_post_video_location":[],"csco_post_video_location_hash":"","csco_post_video_url":"","csco_post_video_bg_start_time":0,"csco_post_video_bg_end_time":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[238],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-733","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-iliski","8":"cs-entry","9":"cs-video-wrap"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/733","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=733"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/733\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1071,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/733\/revisions\/1071"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/734"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.healmeup.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}